Today is a momentous day. First, She Sings at the Table returns after a very long hiatus. Second, this is the 100th post ever. And finally–today is our inaugural guest post from my friend Luke! He is a fellow Hawkeye lawyer, a wonderful person, and, I daresay, a pioneer in the field of microwave cookery. Take it away, good buddy! -DK
A little background: My name is Luke and I’m a bit of a putz and perceptual adolescent. Fittingly, last year joined the military a second time. Until just recently (I’m three nights into my first grown-up apartment!), I lived in base housing that was somewhere in the neighborhood of dorm or hotel accommodations. For about nine months I had just a small fridge and a microwave to handle my food needs. I would brag about my culinary “accomplishments” on facebook and Darcy suggested I write a post for her blog, a sort of counter-note to her fine food and writing. I wrote the post below when I was at the Naval Base in Newport RI, and really starting to find joy in my cheap, simple, lazy food.

There are limitations to cooking with a mini-fridge and microwave in a hotel room, but I enjoy this kind of meal-crafting because the physical limitations conveniently parallel my personal limitations of being lazy and a bit on the simple side. I might just keep cooking like this when I have a kitchen, I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out when I grow up.
Step one is shopping. Logistically there isn’t room for a lot of fancy ingredients and extras. I try to stick to four basic ingredient types: a “meat,” a grain, a sauce, and cheese; and basic flavor profiles: mexican, italian, cheese, and cheese-combo. If you shop this way, there is very little difficulty in creating a meal, you just combine a meat, a grain, a sauce and cheese that all match the chosen flavor profile. Today I’m going show you a mexican-cheese combo.

I should also explain, I mostly go with vegetarian meat substitutes. I do this because it seems less gross to microwave fake meat than real meat and less gross to only be able to rinse the tupperware out in the bathroom sink. The other reason is that half of what I microwave ends up being shredded cheese and the healthier veggie substitutes help me justify my cheese habit.
One thing to remember when working with these kinds of cheap frozen ingredients: you have to respect their intentions but know their limitations. That means you don’t put marinara on the spicy southwest burger– you don’t mess with their intended purpose. But you also always make sure to dump stupid amounts of cheese on top because what’s underneath really isn’t that great.
1) Dump salsa onto tortilla. Get better salsa if you can, but not too good, nothing fresh, it’d clash with the other ingredients.

2) Microwaved southwestern spicy black bean veggie burgers. I like to stick my finger in ‘em to make sure they’re cooked. And also just to do it sometimes.

3) Too much cheese.

4) Microwave. This is one of the tough parts. If you’re like me, you’re really anxious to shove this thing down your throat and feel the mix of pride and shame that comes afterwards, but you can’t toss it in there on high, you gotta back off the power and leave it in longer for a more even nuke. I usually eat handfuls of shredded cheese as an appetizer while I wait.
5) The cooking is done, but the last step is for safety, again, you probably want to go straight in the mouth with it, but you’ll burn yourself. If you’re a sucker, you can wait patiently. Me? I hold mine over the AC unit to speed up the process.

This is Darcy again. I know I’ve learned a lot today. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all again…..sometime!






























































